October, 2016. Long Beach, CA.

i get nauseous often.

during mini panic attacks

triggered by anything and everything.

i’m rarely comfortable – could be why i

do not believe in comfort.- i believe in movement. movement is the motto.

*

” i wanted to take a break”

are you like me?

constantly

consistently

unstable. trying to escape the loud

the bright fuschia color.

praying for void but

taking no steps to achieve this

because we are so busy trying

how can we try anymore?

fearful

of this void. so stiff…

what does it feel like to be putty dough?

I Don’t Look At Your Hair.

Okay?

Okay,

Sometimes

When you are in front

And your behind faces me,

I do.

I catch a glimpse

But I swear

All I do is remember

How short it was… when we first met.

It was neater then,

I could see your last re-twist.

I look now

And I can point out the history,

Your memories in the thick strands.

But I do not stare.

I swear,

I just glance because

Then you look at me in the eyes.

I look deeper.

I decide if I want you in or not

I stare

Past the gates.

I choose you for more than your hair.

 

October, 2016

Signal Hill, CA.

My Hair.

I keep it up and covered.

“Why?”:

I keep her protected.

She is new like a baby

But I know her past life-

So many have laid grounds in her.

They set up shop and cabins

Where they raised families

And chopped firewood and

Fed their children my stories

And secrets and

They fabricated them and and and

On top of my head sat

Heat-damaged lying mouths and breath.

So now she is new.

I hold her near me.

Maybe now another start will not be necessary.

The stories she holds are truths

And when she grows older her armour

Will be of love and light

And she will give,

And house no one.

 

October, 2016

Signal Hill, CA.

Woahman.

Sexual being.

Sexual entity.

Sexual energy.

Sexually ambiguous.

Open hearted.

Open-

What got me here,

Let it be…

A way of life prepared

For me.

Sometimes I

Want another button on my shirt.

Sometimes I

Want a higher collar.

Sometimes I

Want some fucks to give.

I

Am not what I am not.

I

Am a beauty unable to be

Covered,

Controlled.

I am not a mistake.

I am a purpose.

Whatever got me here

So be it!

Cannot erase my

Past,

Cannot erase my soul.

I will embrace,

I will emerge,

I will enjoy,

A way of life I pave

For myself.

Sexual love.

Sexual creation.

Sexual being…

And is there a problem?

 

 

October, 2016.

Montgomery, Alabama.